Let’s Talk Post-Baby Body (See Jane Baby)
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| the day before I had Teddy |
Ah, the postpartum body. It’s kind of taboo to talk about, right? People only mention if it they’re genuine surprised how good you look postpartum. “Wow! You just had a baby?” Yep, that lasted a couple weeks for me. Then I just looked different; not bad, but not quite myself–uncomfortable in my own skin, for sure.
Having a baby is an emotional rollercoaster; yes, it’s a very happy time but I’m also here to tell you that it’s ok to mourn a little. Mourn?! What? Yes, mourn. Your life just turned upside down. You spent decades looking out for number one and now, you have a baby whose complete existence depends on you–it’s ok to miss some of that freedom you once had. It’s also ok to miss your pre-baby body. Yes, you brought life into the world and you should feel extremely proud of that, but you can also feel sad that your whole wardrobe doesn’t agree with your new figure and that your butt is suddenly flatter than a pancake (please tell me that isn’t just me).
The social media reality tells me that I should be chilling on the beach with a newborn and a bangin’ bod. In reality, I’m in a robe on my couch, leaking through all my shirts and even my pre-baby sweatpants don’t fit. I’m here to tell you that my pre-baby pants just started buttoning without a rubber band (and Teddy just turned six months this week)! One of my favorite saying (that I actually need to remind myself of often) is that it takes you nine months to gain the weight–give yourself some grace when trying to lose it. Everyone seems to enjoy sharing war stories when it comes to parenting, pregnancy and giving birth so maybe it’s time we started being real and embracing our postpartum bodies, too. As wonderful as social media can be, the veneer of perfection often times overshadows the raw realities; I for one think we all deserve a little real talk that the postpartum body struggle is the actual reality, not the perfection we all see and strive for.
YES! My twins are 10 months old and for the first 8 months or so I made extremely minimal/no efforts to get my body back and I felt conflicting joy and shame. Like, I feel amazing about what my body just did but should I be hating myself more for looking the way I do? I feel like the message to new moms is "love yourself but don't look that way forever". You know how people put those 26.2 bumper stickers on their car after they run a marathon? I feel like I should kinda want to get some with my babies' weights. 😉
Preach it, girl! Love that you took the time to address this. I just had my third baby 7 weeks ago and my post baby bod is so different this time around. My weight has been flat-lined since I returned home from the hospital. Whoever says that breastfeeding makes the weight fall off, lied. 🙂 I am so grateful for this amazing body that carried and birthed the most perfect little babies… but you're right… it's okay to mourn, too.
I never could lose the weight until we were done breastfeeding. It was so frustrating (especially the first time!) when everyone around me would chirp about how breastfeeding just made the weight FALL off, what a perk! and I'd be having to go buy new pants in the next size up because it became apparent nothing was budging. It's good to know other people shared my experience!
I love the honesty and being real with this. I know someone who went through this and I agree that it seems taboo even though these thoughts do come across. I've never been pregnant (yet), but I do know the feeling of missing your body. Thanks so much Jane for sharing this!
http://www.rdsobsessions.com
My baby turns one tomorrow (!) and those first few months were so rough. I remember trying to get dressed in the summer when I couldn't wear a dress because I was nursing and trying to feel comfortable in shorts and a t-shirt was almost impossible. I wished it was cooler so I could wear some layers! Thanks for sharing this post. I think every little bit helps in terms of getting people talking about the realities of having babies.
Thank you for this! What a refreshing read as I prepare to give birth to my second little one next week. We can all be so hard on ourselves (I've been especially guilty of this this pregnancy) and I'm hoping to give myself a little grace this time around postpartum. Love your blog!
Oh yes. I didn't get back into my pre-pregnancy jeans until my son was almost 8 months old, and even now that he's approaching 10 months some of the lower styles are still a bit snug. Also, am I the only one who feels like postpartum dressing is the final frontier of fashion? There's all sorts of advice and actual clothes out there to help you embrace being tall, petite, pregnant, overweight, whatever… but postpartum? Nah. It's like we're supposed to dress in a tent and shuffle off until we can re-emerge in our normal clothes. Pfft.
So thankful to hear someone speaking openly and honestly about postpartum bodies. My baby is 14 months and, although I'm technically down to my pre-pregnancy weight, my body is just not the same. Will my little belly ever go away? I swear my stomach used to be flat. And I definitely had a hard time loosing the weight while breastfeeding. I think we all deserve a little more grace. ☺
I love that someone is finally writing about this! I'm just starting to feel like myself again and my baby isv6 mths old. I don't think my stomach will ever look the same. Social media can be a real enemy sometimes because everyone's life looks so perfect in a screen shot! Thank you for starting the conversation!
I gained 60 pounds (!!!!) while pregnant. My mom did also with all three kids and said the weight "fell off" after, so I wasn't worried. Fast forward 3 months and I'm struggling to lose it. Breastfeeding isn't making the weight melt off, like I was meant to believe. And when I asked my mom? She was it took her 9 months to lose it. It's great to hear that others are going through the same and it's not just me!
Thank you so much for this. This is how I felt after my son was born, and as I start to contemplate having a second child, the struggle of the post baby body looms in my head. I don't want to sound shallow, it just takes a toll when you don't feel like yourself and social media "celebrities" all look like models in their "pre-baby jeans" a minute after birth! Thanks so much for your honesty. And you do look amazing now and always!
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